Quality Of Life For The Aging LGBTQ+ Population
By Jason Byers
Jack Kupferman photographed by Dana Golan
As the population gets older, organizations are moving to fit their needs. In New York, a group called Gray Panthers NYC is dedicated to improving quality of life for older people, including LGBTQ+ seniors. Queerful spoke with their president, Jack Kupferman, about some of the issues queer seniors face.
Jason Byers: Hi, my name is Jason Byers. I'm co-founder of Queerful. And I'm here today with Jack Kupferman, president of Gray Panthers NYC, a New York-based organization, dedicated to improving the quality of life for older persons, locally, nationally, and globally. Hi Jack.
Jack Kupferman: Good afternoon. I'm really thrilled to be able to talk with you.
JB: So, while the Gray Panthers is not specifically an LGBTQ+ organization, given your involvement and the fact that you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you’d be a good person to ask: What specific issues do older folks within the queer community face?
JK: There are so many. But some of the most important things are health concerns, employment and financial stability, social isolation, family relations, developing and maintaining intimacy, and more.
JB: Do you think there’s less familial structural support for older queer people? Like generationally? I know that many people within our community have a ‘family of choice,’ but that’s not always generationally diverse, meaning there may not be younger people within that family of choice to lean on.
No matter what your age is, accessing and maintaining benefits, business elements, maintaining housing, and personal safety is challenging. Growing older is not for sissies.
JK: As with everything regarding living a LGBTQ+ life, there is a wide variety of familial support systems. Certainly, the support of the genetic family is often not available. That strikes fear into the psyche of many, understandably so. The support of the family of choice can also be tough to sustain for any significant period of time. Although this difficulty of obtaining family support is particularly pronounced in LGBTQ+ communities, it is also of grave concern to older persons generally. They are, increasingly, living alone. Increasing longevity also means that more people outlive their loved ones. Therefore, accessing trustworthy support is hard. Community supports for LGBTQ+ people is not always easily accessible and available. In NYC, there is a strong and effective network of community supports for LGBTQ+ people. We’re fortunate.
JB: What are some other issues aging people within the LGBTQ+ community face?
JK: Oh my! Navigating the complexities of every bureaucracy is always a challenge. No matter what your age is, accessing and maintaining benefits, business elements, maintaining housing, and personal safety is challenging. Growing older is not for sissies. It’s a challenge. There is a lot of personal maintenance needed, such as attending to health and health challenges, exercising, nutrition, happiness, and more. It’s very true that the concerns of older persons, especially LGBTQ+ people, are similar to others, but more challenging.
Younger people face similar challenges. But they don’t face the systemic discrimination of ageism and invisibility. LGBTQ+ communities are often concerned about the visuals. How often do we all pass by an older person, without not even seeing them? There is a higher percentage of poverty. Securing supportive and high-quality healthcare is often a challenge. For instance, appropriate home healthcare or residential care does not always effectively care for LGBTQ+ people. But we should note that, in the past few decades, our concerns are increasingly mainstreamed. What progress, and so much more to do. Hooray!!
JB: Hooray indeed!
JK: There’s also a need to increase some of the connections to communities of color so that there is less siloing. You know just as racism is systemic and homophobia is systemic, ageism is systemic.
JB: Absolutely. Very good point. Like racism and homophobia, ageism is completely systemic in our culture that worships at the altar of youth. No one can argue with that. And what about transphobia and how that might affect aging trans folks within our community?
JK: Well, of course, whatever issues you have faced before get compounded as you grow older. So, there are obviously more issues around healthcare, as well as an issue of community understanding and overall acceptance.
JB: That makes sense. Do you feel like the queer community is more or less ageist than the broader population?
JK: That's a very interesting question. The broad answer is—I'm not sure. Decades ago, one of the community building parts of life was that we were all coming out together. There was more of a feeling of community meaning that all parts of it seemed to be community, seemed to be on an equal footing or at least there was more of an acceptance. As the years have gone on, things have separated and it's gotten to be a little bit more niche.
Importantly, we’ve been focused so much on perceived negative aspects of aging as an older LGBTQ+ person. But, that ain’t the only reality. There’s a freedom to be who are intended to be. There’s sometimes an, “I’ll live my life my way” attitude. There is a freedom to pursue your passions and dreams. You have the time and opportunity to do so. Be more of who you are. Enjoy whenever possible.
And thankfully the advent of entities such as SAGE has helped with everything we’re talking about, locally, nationally, globally that it's hard to underestimate their impact. They are all always good, let's see how we can expand our wings.
Photo: Dana Golan
JB: We will definitely be featuring SAGE. For folks who want to check out the great work they’re doing and access their robust resources, click here.
Jack, I wanted to ask, do you feel like younger queer folks appreciate all the relentless protesting and advocacy work done by previous generations?
JK: Well, that is an eternal question— literally eternal. Every older generation feels as though the younger generation doesn't appreciate the efforts that they've made. When you talk to some younger people, they are familiar with history and/or respect for others. Sometimes, not so much. Among the younger people who I know, there is an implicit understanding that younger LGBTQ+ people and elders are just human beings, with equal entitlement to live well. Of course, given my life experience and history of activism with regard to issues of ageing, this sense of equality is not surprising. Yet, there are two basic components to addressing ageism. First, familiarity, where younger and older persons interact in authentic ways. Second is education, where younger and older persons learn about similarities as well as the unique challenges of each generation. Aside from the fact that aging is scary for many people, it’s also true that younger people cannot really understand what it is likely to be older. They have not yet been old. But everyone has the understanding of what it is like to be a child. Everyone has been a child.
I really don't know whether there is greater ageism among younger LGBTQ+ community members. It’s true that they take much of what progress that has been made for granted because they have not encountered the same challenges. They just don't know. They hadn't been students of history. So, this needs to be constantly reinforced, even ways that many segments of younger people can easily understand. It’s worthwhile for all of us to realize that they are part of a long-term community. That is on its way towards further progress.
JB: Yes, and that's of course. But in the last few years, anti LGBTQ+ laws like Ron DeSantis’ “Don't Say Gay” legislation and other anti-democratic and hateful initiatives makes it nearly impossible to get queer history or queer anything in public schools.
JK: The stupidity and evil of these culture wars is just… evil. Now really, what is the true issue? If you don't want to get married to a gay person, don't. Shut up. It does not affect your life. Instead, it is anti-American. This nation was founded on the principle of equality. You don’t have to agree with everything that everyone does or says. But you have to accept differences with aplomb and as part of your moral core, as long as those differences don’t hurt you. And you know, if you love your children, you want them to be who they are and to be happy with who they are even if it may not be who you think they are. If you're a Christian, act like a Christian— with love and equanimity.
JB: Amen. How do you feel about this this sort of backtracking that's going on right now in the face of all the strides that have been made for generations?
JK: First of all, it's scary. And secondly, it clearly does not come from a good heart.
JB: No, it doesn’t. But on a more optimistic note, what gives you hope when you look at the younger generation, what gives you hope in terms of furthering LGBTQ+ rights?
JK: Aside from the fact that younger LGBTQ+ people are at least as smart as anyone, there's a passion and a heartfelt understanding and opportunities for mentorship. They have examples that we didn't have.
JB: That's a really good way of looking at it.
JK: And my nieces and nephew think—and probably your nieces and nephews—okay, you're the guncle.
JB: I am indeed a proud guncle.
JK: You're the guncle. You're cooler than most. And, you know, it's like they will talk to you about the specific issues in a way that it doesn't matter, in the same way that they're talking to you about Taylor Swift.
JB: That's interesting because it's not just young queer people, it's just young people in general, that gives you hope.
JK: Correct.
JB: I love it. I love ending on a hopeful note. Thank you so much for chatting with Queerful, Jack. We really appreciate it.
JK: My pleasure. Q
For more information, visit graypanthersnyc.org/